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| 經過了一段2年多的感情, 我感覺我變了, 變的安靜, 變的內向, 變的很冷. 以前認識我的人, 現在在碰到我, 不一定能夠相信這就是以前那個活潑外向, dun give a fuck about anything 的pTr. 我是變成熟了嗎? 還是變膽小了? 我不喜歡現在的我, 失去她之後, 我的生活變的很沒有重心, 我不知道我應該做些什麼, 應該為了什麼而繼續努力. 有時候看著鏡子, 我會笑我自己, 說:" 你這個廢物, 以前那個你呢? 你以前不是很屌的跟別人說你什麼都不在乎? 現在知道了吧? 什麼是報應? 這就是報應!" 我知道, 我不是為了失去她而傷心, 而難過, 是為了失去了自己而難過. Its wierd you know, being alone, the thing I hate the most, is the only thing that comforts me right now. 難道人成長就是這樣嗎? 生活變的平淡了, 生活圈變小了, 每天過著一樣的生活? I dunno what to do anymore, I hate myself, the way I've become, life's shit, and even worse, there's nobody to tell it to. fuck.. | | |
| Why do people gotta do shit like that? ever since the break-up happened, I've been trying to control myself on who to talk to about and what to talk about, because I didn't want her to get the wrong impression that I was talking shit behind her back. Although I got my regret and my anger inside of me, I didn't let it out, anyone I talked to, I said it was my fault, I took the blame. I just thought, whats the point of two people hurting each other still after what is already un-fortunate? but guess some people simply don't think this way, gotta go around talking trash, making up shit, just so that she feels better about herself? Fine, if that really makes her feel better, then whatever, I am just the worst person there is, and I simply bring hell with me, fuck that | | |
| I just lost someone I truly loved, and for the first time, I did not know what I did wrong or even what went wrong. Was it me? Was it her? Also for the first time, I felt that it didn't matter. It didn't matter because whom ever's fault it was, won't change it results, won't make myself feel better, won't improve on the current situation. I don't know why I don't feel the pain people talk about when love leaves you. Maybe I am already feeling it, or maybe its just hidden too deep down inside like everything else. Or is it a relief? Was it a relief because I can't stand the pressure of love and trust? I think I have a problem trusting people, no, I do have a problem trusting people. I don't know why, sometimes I just feel that the whole world is ganging up on me. Why did it have to work out this way? I paid in my time, energy, everything, she was the whole world to me; but yet, love is something where the more you give, the less you get back isn't it? If not, then I seriously don't know, because this is the result I'm getting after collecting all the datas from my personal experience. Well, as always then, Life Goes On, peace. | | |
| I've been reading people's xanga, and I realized one thing: " No one seems to think life is fair to them" What that statement makes me think is that, why is it so? It is because everyone expects their life to be perfect? Or that our generation is just too weak to handle the pressure?(that includes me) I think about like 10 years ago, there's this term called "²ÝÝ®×å". I believe it was made for our generation, a generation that looks nice and bright on the outside, but could not withstand any pressure, or else we get squashed. I do believe that symbolizes only a portion of our generation. I don't know what I am talking about, its starting to sound like an essay to me. I guess its because I really don't have much to say, because when life is dull, you don't really have anything exciting to say, especially not to everyone connected to the Internet. I guess I am just living such a comfortable life that I have already forgotten how hard it was before, and forgot the promise I made to myself that I won't live throughout poverty. I really gotta get myself back together, find the important factors that were actually meaningful to me before. „eÈ˶¼Õf, ²»µøµ¹¾Í²»•þéL´ó... žéʲüNÎÒµøµ¹ÁË߀ÊÇéL²»´ó? Êǵøµ½µÄ²»‰ò¶à´Î? ߀ÊǵøµÄ²»‰ò…–º¦? someone tell me please | | |
| Its finally the May holiday~ lemme think what I wanna do...
choice 1:
Sit home and do absolute nothing.
choice 2:
Go and spend all the money i saved on complete non-senese
choice 3:
Do something productive, like study for my test
choice 4:
Do something healthy, like work out or basketball
choice 5:
Do all of the above except for choice 3
help me here.. what should i do?
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